Adult add and dating

By the time they come to see me, many of these couples are feeling hopeless, exhausted, frustrated, beat up, misunderstood and angry.

Adult add and dating-2

Chat to kinky girls - Adult add and dating

By Leslie Rouder, LCSW The great Carl Jung once said that “Loneliness doesn’t come from having no one around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that are important to you.” Although this is a universal truth, in the case of those who have ADHD, communication can certainly be a bigger obstacle to intimacy than to those who do not.

Not only for the person who has ADHD, but for the partner who may feel that they are never being heard.

Over the past 13 years of counseling couples in which one partner had ADHD, I have heard numerous complaints.

Many of the challenges are quite common amongst individuals whose partners have ADHD, but the single biggest complaint I hear over and over again is that, “My ADHD partner does not appear to be listening to me.” Good communication is probably the single most important element that constitutes a healthy thriving relationship.

When one partner in a relationship feels that they are not being heard (regardless of the reason) all kinds of resentment and anger can build.

Often the non-ADHD spouse feels uncared for, or even disrespected because their ADHD partner may seem to zone out, pay them “lip service” or not respond at all.

If they are aware of how their partner’s ADHD is affecting their ability to pay attention (and most of them are) they may be able to objectify it and even understand it, but at the end of the day, they are still not able to resolve the problem.

Many of these couples have been through the diagnosis stage, the education stage and the medication stage, and still the same problems around communication persists.

Although medication is not for everyone, we do know that for about 80% of those with ADHD, medication is the single most important treatment in mitigating ADHD symptoms, especially in the area of distractibility.

For some, more than others, medication can mean a huge difference in one’s ability to be present in a conversation, as well as one’s life in general.

If your partner has been diagnosed with ADHD and is not on medication, this would be a worthwhile consideration.

Tags: , ,